Once again, he turns around to leave.
I know that he’s going because he feels he has to. It’s his duty. It’s what he was meant to do. But I wish it didn’t feel like it was me, specifically, that he was leaving.
Don’t go. Don’t leave me behind.
He came to Hueco Mundo to protect and regain those that are important to him. Bonds. Friendship. Orihime.
Take me with you.
Wasn’t there a time when he went to save me too? I know I made a show of being mad at him, even went as far as to call him an idiot in front of the Gotei 13, but deep inside I was beyond happy. He came. For me. He braved the unknown dangers of Soul Society to get to me. To save me. To protect me.
But that was different. I am different.
I gave him his Shinigami powers. And then I was arrested, slated for execution for breaking the laws of Soul Society. He felt guilty. He felt indebted to me. And so he came after me.
Can’t I be the one?
Orihime is different. He made a vow to her. He swore to get stronger to protect her. It was a promise not born out of obligation, but of an innate desire to be there for her.
Can’t I be important to you like that?
And now, he is leaving to once again protect those that are important to him. Friends. Home. Family.
If the living world ever needed a savior, it would be now. Karakura town has become the setting for a battle that entailed more than just stopping a mad man, and the drama that’s surely unfolding there needs a protagonist. It needs a hero. It needs Ichigo.
But I need you too.
And so he leaves Hueco Mundo for Karakura.
But as if bound by tradition, he stops. He turns around, pins me in place with his determined gaze, and opens his mouth to say those words I’ve come to both love and hate: “Ittekuru”.
No. Not like this.
It’s not like I don’t understand him. It’s not as if I don’t understand the things that go through his head, because I do. I do understand. I understand all too well and that’s why I find it all too painful.
He does what he does out of love, out of a perceived duty born of that love. It’s that trait of his that first made me fall in love with him. And it’s that same trait that makes me want to hate him now.
This is a battle you have to fight. Why can’t I fight it with you?
And so once again, he turns around to leave.
How many more times will I have to watch your back as you leave me behind?